becoming more like the water

The days are slow and restful here and the weather is always a gamble. Some days I wake up and the sun is already shining through the bathroom window screaming “it’s a beautiful day”, as I watch the blue sky appear out of a sea of clouds. On other days, I wake up and the sky is dark and grey. The clouds swirl with the sight of rain and heaviness, and I can smell it in the air; a storm is coming.

Each day that this new year has brought me has been one of continuous learning, growth, and opportunity. I’m learning how to put myself out into the world and not be disappointed and completely and utterly defeated when I receive no response from the 30th job application that I’ve sent out over the course of a couple months. After all, I am a person who graduated into the midst of a global pandemic, but that doesn’t ease my worry any less.

Now more than ever I see an opportunity to practice gratitude and presence within my own life. When challenges arise, as they always do, I look to gratitude, asking myself questions such as:

 ·      What am I grateful for today?

·      What made me happy or brought me joy today?

·      How could I do better tomorrow?

It’s in simple practices such as these that make all the difference for me in getting myself through the hard days, and the good.

Each day, I feel called to the water, but I don’t always listen. There’s something about the ocean that is incredibly intimidating. I can’t hide from its power. I can’t hide from mine. There’s a wildness that lurks in the depths of these waters, that rises every time a storm comes barreling onto the shore, awakening the land, reverberating throughout my whole being. The rain comes in sheets and the waves are like nothing I have ever seen before. Big. Beautiful. Strong. Powerful.

I hope that on each new day, I am becoming more like the water, more like the person that I know I am destined to be.

 “I want to write beauty in the form of words and let it callus my hands

run me through the mud

deep in the flowing waters

and I will still rise and write the words

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am powerful.”

-m

I hope that on each new day, I am becoming more like the water. Beautiful, strong, and powerful.

All for now,

All my love,

Onward.

-m